Tis the Season!

Today Lisa and I did our Christmas together and it was awesome.  We both got each other shoes....so typical :P haha she got me brown-polka-dotted rain boots and I got her neon blue vans.  We both needed what we got and it was so nice to exchange gifts.  :)

On a sadder note, I have to work on Christmas Eve and it sucks.  This is the first Christmas Eve without my Papa and it being his birthday and all makes this year extremely special and I can't be there.  I know it means a lot to my mom for me to be there and I wish I could, but of course no one wants to work on Christmas Eve so I can't switch shifts. :/  But I'll be there in my mind and I can't wait to wish my Papa a happy 75th birthday!

Today.

Today was perfect.  We stayed on the couch for hours on end without getting up except for pee breaks and it was perfect. We've waited for this day for I don't know how long and its nice to finally have that day. <3

Room For One.

Sometimes I sleep on the couch because I don't want to sleep in a big empty bed that doesn't have you in it like I'm used to.  Sleeping on the couch only provides room for one therefore there is no empty space for me to roll over into thinking you're going to be there.  My baby is sick tonight and I wish I could be there to make him feel better :(

Random Thought for the Day!

I'm sitting here in Shafer waiting for Khris to get out of class simply just because he's always warm and its freakin' freezing outside.  There is old school Justin Timberlake playing in the background and I'm munching on an everything bagel with cream cheese and drinking an apple juice.  Ever since I've moved to RVA I've realized its all about the little things.  You can't live an extravagant life in RVA but that's how its supposed to be.  We're supposed to have empty gas tanks and live off of ramen (I actually am living off of ramen bc Lisa and I have yet to go to the grocery store) and we're supposed to eat junk food ALL THE TIME.  I don't really know where I'm going with this post but I feel the need to blog.  You know sometimes you just have to rant about the most random things just to get them off your mind?  Well that's what I'm doing.  I've had to be there for a lot of people here lately and I absolutely love it.  I had to be there for my sister when she was going through a tough time (and still is) and right now I'm being strong for my best friend Heather.  Lord knows that if I EVER get my hands on that guy....oh it would bad.  I can't explain how painful it is for me to see someone be scared of place they've loved all their life and because of stupid ass guy she's got hurt really bad.  But I know she'll grow from and that something positive will come out of it.

I recently signed up for classes and I'm taking 16 credits all on MWF...I'm happy about his decision but I hope I don't regret putting all my classes on the same days and that I don't get burned out.  Exams are coming up so I probably won't post for awhile.

I find myself not posting as often as I have in the past.  Usually when I would post it would be when I had something negative to get off my mind or to complain about how unhappy I was.  The other day Khris mentioned to me that I don't blog that much anymore and he asked me why I didn't.  I simply said that because when I was without him at Longwood, my blog was my way of getting the frustration of not seeing him out of me because if it dwelt inside me it would have tore me apart.  Well I guess the reason why I don't blog that much is because I'm happy with my life.  I'm satisfied with where I am.  I guess that's no reason to not blog and maybe I should blog about the happy parts...maybe that'll be my New Years' Resolution...blog about the happy stuff, not the sad stuff... this'll probably be the first resolution I actually stick too...because Lord knows going to the gym 3 days a week isn't actually going to happen... :P

So I've ranted long enough and Khris is now out of class and is walking towards me at this very moment :)

R.I.P. Papa

Today my Papa passed away...he was sitting in his chair in the living room reading the newspaper when the Lord called him home.  He loved to read...he loved that chair.  Its perfect that he passed away there...it was his place to get away from the world, getting lost in whatever book he was reading that day.  He had a glass of 7up sitting on the table near him and he was at peace.  Thinking about all this makes me sad, but it makes me feel at peace to know that he left this world doing what he loved most.

I will never forget the tractor rides where we would sit in the scoop part of the tractor and he would raise me and my siblings and cousins up and down for hours on end.  I will never forget the summers they came camping with us and we took turns driving his pontoon boat.  I will never forget the numerous thanksgivings and christmases celebrated at his house.  I will never forget the inner tube that he bought us that one summer and it caused more injuries than it did fun just because my cousins and I were so silly.

My Papa's birthday is on Christmas Eve and we always go to his house for Christmas Eve to celebrate so changes will be made in our traditions but the traditions we used to have will never be forgotten.  He would've been 75 this year.

R.I.P. Papa....I love you so much. <3

Sisters.

The bond of a sisters can not be broken.  No matter what they will always be sisters.  We will always be there for each other in the good times and the bad.  No matter how many fights we had a kids, we still love each other more than anything.  My sister is so strong and has been my entire life and now is the time where I have to be strong for her...and it has put my life in a new perspective.  What she's going through has made me think a lot and has made me wish I could just take it back like it never happened.  But I can't no matter how bad I want to.  He isn't worth it and he never was, so I'm gonna be the person my sister needs because right now a hug and a phone call means the world to her.  She doesn't deserve what has happened but you know what? He doesn't deserve her.

My sister will probably never read this, but I'm okay with that...she knows that I love her so much.

Oh How I Hate Traffic.

May I just rant about traffic for 10 minutes?? okay. thanks. 

So I'm driving from Khris' house this morning to get to class at 9am...I left his house at 7:50am taking 288N to 64E to 95S.  So I'm getting ready to merge onto 288 and traffic is backed up...so i'm like GREAT. Well 288 managed to pick up and I was running at about 65mph yayy well then I get to 64E and the merge is fine...no traffic backup...nothing.  Until about 10 minutes away from the 95S exit ramp and DEAD STOP. ugh. So we're inching a long and suddenly 10 minutes turns into 25 minutes.  AND YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?!?!?!?! All the cars that zoom up ahead KNOWING that they have to get over and then they wait until the last minute possible and then they decide to merge over OH NUH UH MISTER YOU ARE NOT GETTING IN FRONT OF ME. I mean like how rude is that...this guy seriously like cuts me off and I lay on my horn and he flicks me off...HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE A SIGNAL ON. ughh some people I swear.  So anyway in the end I ended up getting to my apt around 9:20 which is takes me 20 mins to walk to class putting me there 10 minutes before the class would be over so I skipped because that would've been a waste of my time.  but good heavens people LEARN TO DRIVE. 

okay i'm done now. :) 

Finding Peace Today.

Psalm 46

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea; though the waters thereof roar and be troubled, though the mountains shake with the swelling thereof. Selah. There is a river, the streams whereof shall make glad the city of God, the holy place of the tabernacles of the most High.  God is in the midst of her, she shall not be moved: God shall help her, and that right early.  The heathen raged, the kingdoms were moved: he uttered his voice, the earth melted.  The Lord of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah. Come behold the works of the Lord, what desolations he hath made in the earth.  He maketh wars to cease unto the ends of the earth; he breaketh the bow, and cutteth the spread in sunder; he burneth the chariot in fire.  Be still and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.  The Lord of hosts is with us: The God of Jacob is our refuge. Selah.

Jeremiah 29:11-14

For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.  Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you.  And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart.  And I will be found of you, saith the Lord: and I will turn away your captivity, and I will gather you from all the nations, and from all the places wither I have driven you, saith the Lord; and I will bring you again into the place when whence I caused you to be carried away captive.

Hebrews 13:5 -

...for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.

That Which Doesn't Break You, Only Makes You Stronger.

Sometimes in life you have to step up and be the strong one.  You have to catch them when they fall when usually it's the other way around.  I'm not used to being the stronger person but things happen in life when you don't have a choice. You have to be there to be the shoulder to cry on and the open arms to give a loving hug. The road ahead will be long and hard but we'll get through it together, as a family.

To The Unexpected.

Sometimes life will throw you a curve ball and you won't know how to deal with.  It'll throw you so far off your course that you won't know how to get back.  You won't know how to handle it. You won't know what to do and you'll sit there and wonder how in the world this could happen....but you don't know the answer.  These are the moments in life where you need to reach out to those that love you, support you, and can comfort you because nothing else in this world will solve a broken heart like family or a best friend.

19 Going on 30.

I wish I actually felt my age.  I wish that I didn't have the responsibilities of a 30 year old.  When people ask me how old I am I'm embarrassed to say that I'm only 19 because I feel so much older than that.  I really and truly realized that times are changing, people are changing, and that I have to except that.  I can't expect everyone to be the same person they were in high school because we aren't who we were in high school.  That's why there are problems, that's why we don't get along like we did in high school...because we aren't those people.  I'm not saying that we can't still be close and be friends, but its reaching that point in life where the friendship is there, its just a different type of relationship.  To me this makes sense, and to others it might not, but I'm reaching a point in my life where I'm looking ahead to my future, regardless of who comes with me.  I've had a rough week...a week where I had a lot going on and I felt really stressed and this is me putting my heart out there. I can't stress about my friends because I know somewhere along the line there will be issues that we can't avoid happening.  This is not to say that we can't work through them, but we have to be willing to work through them, with the same effort coming from both ends.  That's what I did today and things are fine now, I just realized that communicating through technology like we did in high school, gets me nowhere...you have to confront the situation like an adult and talk face to face.  Maybe this is me ranting yet again...but I have no where else or no one else to rant too.  Think what you may of this post but this is me, 100% just laying everything out.  I have no other way to express the way I feel because I feel no one can understand this the way I do because I am my own individual.  All of these realizations are swamping me all at the same time and its tough...its really tough.  I'm 19, I should be having the time of my life, but I'm too worried about bills, gas money, work, school and its all coming down on me and I can't hold it all up.  I know I have to and in the end I will but that doesn't mean I'm not going to have hardship on the way.  That's what life is about...falling and getting back up again. So when someone asks me how old I am, I'm going to ask them how old they think I am because to me I don't feel like I'm 19.

Speechless.

Can't anyone tell the truth these days? Unbelievable. 

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...and this is why I need to invest in a cute pair of rain boots so I can look just as cute as this lil piggy!! :D


ohmygoodnesshemakesmewannacuddle.

The Grass is Always Greener....Isn't It?

So its 10:33pm on a Wednesday night and I'm waiting for Khris to get off work and I just finished a butt load of homework.  I don't know what really this post is about I just feel the need to write until I feel like I've gotten it all out.  VCU life is awesome. Words can't express how happy I am here.  From the classroom to the environment I just feel more at home, more like where I'm supposed to be.  As I lay here on my couch, I can't help but think of how blessed I am.  I have my own apartment that's fully furnished, with food in the fridge, with running water, and I have this fabulous couch to lay on.  I have awesome friends who I know would be there for me at any moment, all of them, together, in one room...but that would take a miracle for that to happen.  I have an amazing boyfriend who knows exactly what to say and do when I'm having an off day, like today.  He's my best friend, the person I can tell anything. He's my shoulder to cry on or an embracing hug when I'm happy.  We talk about our future all the time but time prevents us from beginning the plans we want to begin right now and they have to be pushed back years from now, even though both of us know we don't want that at all.  Work is work, same ol' same ol', I work I get paid, that money pays the bills.....such is life.  I'm ranting and ranting, but I feel like this ranting is therapeutic for a day like today.  I'm beginning to realize who I am as a person and where I want to go with my life and I can't wait to put all of these thoughts into action.  I can't wait to be a senior in college and have the same anticipation that I did for high school graduation but only 10x greater! I can't wait to start a career and get married and start a family but all of that is at lease 3-5 years from now.  I need to learn to focus on the here and the now even if the future looks SO much better.  I need to learn to live in this moment not a moment that I'm hoping will happen years from now.  A lot can change in 3-5 year and I have no idea where I'll be I can only hope my plans turn out as I see them now.  I can only hope that my friends will put aside their differences and things will be back to normal but that's a subject for a totally different blog that would be way longer than this one.  But anyway, I have a lot of happiness and a lot of frustration...but all the frustration I have comes from issues I can not change, so why bother being frustrated? That's a great question, if I had the answer, I wouldn't be writing this blog.  I hate that everything has to be about money.  Often times I find myself saying "if I'd had the money I'd totally do it" or "lets eat at home because I don't have a lot of money" or "how much is it? is there one cheaper?" I know that as a college student I'm going to be broke, its a proven fact, I just wish that money didn't dictate my life. In all honesty, generally speaking, my life is going great right now but as everyone will admit, there are issues that we all wish we could change in our lives, but as we all know we can't fix everything; there is always going to be a "the grass is always greener on the other side" aspect of life.

Confused.

Has something in your life ever gone so wrong that you would do anything to fix it? Yeah. That's about how I feel.  

Raising My Glass.

Have I mentioned lately how freakin' awesome my life is right now?

~The perfect boyfriend
~The best roomieeee
~The coolest apartment (that didn't lose power in the hurricane :P)
~The most fantastic friends...

....and not to mention I'm going to the SICKEST college ever.

Here's to a great fall semester! :)

River City Livin'

These past few weeks at the apartment have been busy busy busy. We've been decorating and setting up things constantly and we're still trying to figure things out.  Today we finally got our couch which was the finishing touch on making our apartment a home.  Living on my own has taught me so much.  I can no longer yell for my mom when I'm cooking dinner to ask her if the chicken is done.  I can't yell for my dad when there's a spider in my room that needs to be killed.  I have learned the importance of having a clean house and I understand why my mom always stressed about it.

Classes start on Thursday and even though I only have 1 class I'm excited as ever! Already being here at VCU is 10 times better than being at Longwood.  I love the city and all its maniacs...even though I've developed some slight road rage :P

I'm Not A Little Girl Anymore.

Tomorrow I move out of my house for the first time.  I'm so ready to start living on my own but I can't help but admit that I'm a little scared.  Lisa and I are gonna face this head on and are ready to overcome the struggles of two college students working part-time and going to school part-time and paying for everything on our own.  Its gonna be tough but it'll be a learning experience.  I'm just about done packing I have everything ready except my clothes, which is probably going to take the longest.  Nevertheless, everything is ready to go.  As I sit here with naked walls and a stripped bed, it's all hitting me and I can definitely say that this is a bittersweet move.  I'm going to miss my mom so much.  We are so close and we share everything together.  Granted I'll see her at church every Sunday, but I'm used to being able to come home and vent about my day whether good or bad.  She's always been there for me whether through tears or smiles; the good times and the bad.  I know saying good-bye tomorrow will be emotional for the both of us but everything will be just fine.  I'm excited about this move because I'll be closer to my sister and I'll be able to see Charlotte more!

I just can't wait to be settled in and for everything to be situated.  Tomorrow is going to be a long but exciting day and I can't wait to start this new chapter of my life with my best friend.

Boxes Upon Boxes...

SO MUCH PACKING. WHERE DID ALL THIS STUFF COME FROM?!?!

This Gives Pain a Whole New Meaning.

I wasn't looking forward to getting my wisdom teeth all week because I knew that I was gonna be in some extreme pain. And what do you know? Here I am in extreme pain two days after my surgery and I still feel like crap.  I kinda chose a bad time to get all of this done but when I look back on it, I probably did it in the best time.  I was supposed to sing in church today, but I didn't so that sucks.  This coming Sunday is our Annual Missions Conference and I have to sing in that service so I have to get better by then.  I only gave myself 3 days off from work which I could probably use a whole lot more than that but I can't afford to take it.  I also move into my new apartment on Monday.  So everything is kinda right around the corner for me so I'm hoping this pain goes away.  All I do is sit around and watch tv or sleep, granted it's a nice break from my recent busy as hell schedule but all I want to do is get back up and get going again.  I took a shower today for the first time since Friday (I know that's gross but I really didn't care what I looked like haha) and it felt amazing but still didn't really make me feel that much better. :/ Khris wants to take me to the river tomorrow so I'm hoping that getting out of the house and into some sun will get my blood flowing again and I'll regain some energy.  But until then, I'm living off my painkillers, taking it easy in my recliner while surviving off of mashed potatoes, yogurt, and ice cream. :)

Say Hello To My Beautiful Niece...Charlotte Paige Culpepper.

Charlotte was born on July 18, 2011 at 9:17am.  She weighed 8lbs and 3oz and is 21 1/4 inches long.  She's the most beautiful baby I've ever seen and I love her so much.  When I held her for the first time she stuck her tongue out at me so I know she's got some of her Auntie in their somewhere. :P The mommy, my sister Jamie, is doing great and is loving being a mom. The daddy, my brother-in-law Ryne, is such an awesome dad! I'm so proud of them :)  I'm so excited because my apartment that I'm getting is literally 5 mins from their place so I'll be able to see her and love on her more often than if I was living in Powhatan.  She's healthy and squirmy and just a cuddle bug.  Her eyes right now are a dark blue but I think they're going to turn to brown ;) What a blessing it is to have such a wonderful and beautiful baby in my life.  I can't wait to be the best Aunt I can be! :)

It's Amazing.

Can you see? Its amazing what you do to me. You took my heart and made me feel things that I never felt before. Its changing me, which direction so certainly. You shook me up and threw me around, and helped me learn to breathe it all in.

When You're Happy Life A Fool....Let It Take You Over.

Day turns to night, night turns to whatever we want
We're young enough to say

Oh this has gotta be a good life
This has gotta be a good life
This could really be a good life, good life
Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire 'night
This could really be a good life
A good, good life

'Cuz hopelessly, hopelessly
I have so much to feel good about. 

<3 

Learn to Lean.

When the cloud in the sky, starts to pour and your life is just a storm you're braving 

Well don't tell yourself you can't lean on someone else because we all need saving sometimes. 

And I don't know why it has it to be this way 

And I don't know the cure, 

But please believe, someone else has felt this before. 

So when the cloud in the sky, starts to pour and your life is just a storm you're braving

 Well don't tell yourself you can't lean on someone else because we all need saving sometimes.

<3

Patiently Waiting...

Well this post is coming from the inside of a hospital waiting room...my niece Charlotte is almost here!! :)  It's been quite a day with false contractions and early and late hours.  I've been able to go back and see my sister (Jamie) a few times and its such a surreal experience for me because I honestly don't think its hit me yet.  When I hold her in my arms it'll definitely hit me for sure haha.  Our family has made bets on the time when Charlotte will be born and so far my guess of 3:29am is still possible!! We experienced an interesting breakfast this morning in the cafeteria in the hospital...powdered eggs = gross.  We've seen baby after baby come into the nursery but we're just waiting on one little precious soul.  I have to be at work at 11:30am so I'm hoping she comes before then (which I'm 90% positive will happen lol) but in the meantime I'm listening to Adele Pandora radio and trying to stay awake....I'll post more when little baby Charlotte has entered the world!! :)

That Look.

Tonight I was playing hide and seek with Alyssa with her blankie and she was giggling and just loving it so much when all of the sudden Khris came from behind me grabbed my face and gave me the sweetest kiss.  Later on, I was chasing Alyssa and Jayden around the house and I happened to look over at Khris before taking off towards the kids and he just had this look on this face on pure admiration and I smiled.  As we were watching tv later, he leaned over and grabbed my face the exact same way as before and kissed me again and said, "You're so great with kids that I'll never have to worry about our kids being happy." I couldn't help but smile... :) I know that having children with Khris is a long ways away, even getting married is awhile off but I can't help but to think how awesome our lives will be as a married couple and then eventually having children after that.  I have no doubts, I have no fears.  When I'm with him I'm happier than I could ever be and I can't wait to have that for forever.

So Perfect.

Today Khris and I finally made it to the beach :) we got there around noon and stayed until about 8pm. It was a perfect day, full of sun, with the perfect amount of breeze.  I read my book while he laid out in the sun then we both went for a splash in the surprisingly freezing water, we then had lunch on the beach from food that we had packed and soaked up a little bit more sun together.  Around 5ish we decided to pack up and go change our clothes and find a nice seafood place to eat.  We called around to a few places and finally decided on Bone Fish Grill.  Khris was so excited because it was a buffet that included crab legs haha we had a feast. After dinner, we decided to go back out on the beach and watch the sunset together while we were embraced in each others arms.  Khris asked me, "What do you think people see when they see us together like this?" I said, "I hope that they can see and feel the amount of love that I can see and feel in this very moment."  It was just perfect.  Our summers have both been so extremely hectic with class schedules and work schedules that we really haven't had time to relax just us.  Spending the day on the beach was something I needed so badly and I just felt overwhelming safe and comfortable wrapped up in his arms. Who knows if we'll get another day like today but even if we don't, today was enough to make my entire summer.

To This Odd Feeling.

There are some things in life you don't know how to describe. You feel a certain way, and you don't know where that feeling came from or why you feel the way you do.  Its frustrating and very irritating for me, but when I get in moods like this, I just don't want to do anything.  Any and everyone irritates me and I just want to be alone.  When in reality, that's not what I really want at all.

Just What I Needed.

Khris and I had plans to go to the beach today for weeks in advance and I never thought once to look at the weather for some strange reason...until this morning when the forecast for VA Beach was severe thunderstorms all day. I thought great, the one day that I'm off and that's supposed to be the best day of my summer so far has just been ruined. But to my dismay, even though we didn't go to the beach today I still had an awesome day with Khris.  A whole day with Khris, I haven't had that all summer.  We decided to go to Chick-fil-a for breakfast, then we saw the new Transformers 3 movie which was AWESOME :) then we came back to my house, worked on a puzzle we bought a few days ago, then got super tired and ending up napping on my couch.  Then we went to dinner at Red Robin, where my mom tagged along with us and then we went back to his place and played the new Donkey Kong Country Returns game on the Wii (brought back A LOT of memories from my childhood playing it on the Original Nintendo!!) I know our day seems like any other day to someone else, but today was super special to us.  We spent some true quality time together and really just enjoyed being in each other's company and soaking up each others love <3 we plan to go to the beach on Monday because its supposed to be sunny and 84! :) i'm so white its not even funny...I have no tan AT ALL...its ridiculous :/

I have to work one short 5 hour shift tomorrow and then I'm off all next week...my sister is closer and closer to having baby Charlotte and I'm so excited! I'm so happy that I have next week off so if Charlotte comes I'll be free to go to the hospital with my sister :) I found the cutest onesies at Target today, I couldn't resist buying them haha I just can't wait to babysit her now!!

I can't even begin to explain the amount of fun I had today...it was just what I needed :)

For the Love of Life.

You never know who is watching your life, you never know who looks up to you, and you never know who admires your character so always make it a point to be as happy as you can be, have your arms wide open to new possibilities, and never be afraid to be there for someone 100% of the time no matter the situation.

Put On the Four Inch Pumps.

Don't be afraid to be bold.  Don't be afraid to stand out. Don't be afraid to be different. Don't be afraid to be loud and to tell people how it is...

...because being shy, being plain, being like everyone else, and being quiet will get you nowhere in this world.

Learning to Deal.

There is always something that comes along that is unexpected. You never know when its gonna come along and you never know what it's going to be.  It doesn't matter if you have plans to see someone or plans to go somewhere, that something doesn't care and will happen out of your control.  You can't do anything to stop it and you just have to learn to deal with it....whether you like it or not.

To The Unknown.

For the past few days I've been in a weird mood that's unexplainable.  I've gone through a lot with my friends and with Khris and I've realized my problem is that I haven't spent time with them like I should be doing.  Ever since I started my new job I feel like I've been non-stop working...and I felt like this before I got my promotion.  I don't know, this feeling is unexplainable and I don't know exactly where to put my finger on it.  I guess you could say its stress from fear of losing a friend or fear of not spending enough time with the one I love but I have plenty of time to make up for that.  I guess my biggest fear is the fear of not having enough time to live this life to the fullest.

Promotion.

For the past few weeks I've been training for a new Team Leader position at my work Chick-fil-a.  I learned a few things here and a few things there, but it wasn't until tonight that I really learned something.  I  learned how to basically close up the restaurant, which is what I'll be doing for the most part.  My manager Glenn, made me a manager card, a register key, and a restaurant key making my position as a team leader an official one :) This promotion brings on bigger responsibilities and dedicating more hours but I think overall this opportunity will be an amazing one for me! Tomorrow is the first day that I'll be wearing a black shirt, which is what the managers wear, so I'm super excited :) I still have a lot to learn but I'm so ready and open to learn new things and making this job an exciting one...yeah working in fast food isn't the best industry but right now its the best for me and they are willing to work with my school schedule and I really need that too!

Everything seems to be falling into place for me and I feel so blessed.  I have found an apartment, I have a new job, and I'm going for VCU orientation on Friday which will finalize my classes for the fall. I have a week off of working coming up in July and an adorable niece that's supposed to be entering this world very soon! I'm so excited for the next few upcoming months of my life and I can't wait for them to get here! <3

Childhood Memories.

Tonight I watched a movie called "Mortal Kombat" I'm sure many of you have seen it or at least heard of it.  Well when I was a little girl, my brother and sister, Russell and Jamie, and my cousin, Ethan, would watch this movie all the time.  For those of you who have seen it, you know how they strike the fight pose at the end of the movie when the emperor busts out of the building? yeah well we would get up off the couch and always strike the pose we wanted and then pretend to fight each other like they did in the movie.  Thinking back on this memory has really made me miss my childhood.  My brother, sister, and myself always had a crazy imagination...I couldn't even begin to explain the games we used to play just because you would probably think I'm crazy haha. But for example, we used to line books up and down our hallway and we would play "library" and we would pick up the books we want and then go to the "checkout line" which took place with my plastic electronic cash register that consisted of a fake scanner and monopoly money.  Looking back on it now I think what in the world were we thinking? But back then it was so real for us because our imaginations allowed us to go that far into a fantasy.  I miss having an imagination.  Even with Khris' niece and nephew I realize how powerful a child's imagination can be.  The other day I was playing cars with Jayden and I was the "bad guy" and he was the "good guy" and if I did something that wasn't within Jayden's imagination he would make it known.  It baffles me how quickly those imaginations disappear as we grow older.  We know longer believe in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy of the Easter Bunny.  We can no longer play cars and not feel like a complete idiot when we make the "vroom vroom" sound...you all know what I'm talking about.  Its so crazy how life can take our imagination away and how quickly things get technical.  I miss not having a job and when the only thing I did all day was play with toys...I miss not having a cell phone bill or any bills to pay for, for that matter.  I miss having my mom pay for everything...  Sometimes I get so caught up in life that I forget about where I came from and where I was raised.  Its nights like these when I take a drive down memory lane and can't do anything but smile just because of the crazy memories I have from camping, playing games, and dressing up in weird halloween costumes with my cousins...if only I could have the imagination that I had back then now, life would be a whole lot better.

Two Small Town Girls....Living In A Crazy World.

So yesterday my roommate Lisa and I went searching for an apartment done in the VCU area.  We had appointments to see two different apartments but ended up seeing around five...well they all were sketch and Lisa even got bitten up by fleas in one...yeah...so not so good luck within the first couple of hours.  We were getting our hopes down when we saw a sign that said "2 bedroom apartments only $574 a month/per person" and we got really excited! So we stopped in and got to see a tour of three different apartments they had to offer and we finally settled with a 2 bedroom apartment at the Coliseum Lofts on West Broad Street.  We were ecstatic and we couldn't wait to finalize everything! All we have to do is get the application and our co-signer's application in my next friday and we're in oh plus we get a free 32" tv in our living room!!! Yes, that's right...a FREE 32" tv! :) Move in is August 8th and I'm so excited!

I knew that right when we walked into the viewing apartment that it would be the one.  I don't know how I knew but something just clicked with me, and luckily Lisa felt the same click! I'm gonna post more pics below this post for yall to check out as well so make sure yall see those :)

Things are falling into place just like I prayed for and I couldn't be happier that we found this place! I feel so blessed.  Finding this apartment has lifted a huge weight off my back and I can't wait to start my life at a VCU Ram. <3

This is the kitchen area which includes the fridge, stove, and dishwasher

This is the living room area which is right across from the kitchen! 

This is bedroom #1 with a huge closet :D hehe 

This is the bathroom...each room has their own bathroom, super excited about that! :)

Of course there is another bedroom and bath but they look exactly the same haha as you can tell is super cute and just the right size and I'm gonna have so much fun decorating!! :) 

Finding a Balance.

For the past week things have kinda been on edge for me.  I've had to do things that I never thought I would have to do...and I'm not so sure I'm handling this in the best way.  What I've said and done is in the past and I can't change it now. I've been working six days a week lately and I feel like I haven't had time to enjoy my summer.  I know that I've said this already in past blogs but obviously nothing has changed. I see my friend's statuses on facebook saying "going to the river", "hanging out with him", "loving this summer" and I see them either while I'm at work on break or after I just worked a 9 hour shift.  I tell myself "wow I wish I could go to the river" but then I have to tell myself that I'll be happy once my paycheck comes.  Well my paycheck came today, and nothing changed.  Yeah, I was happy at the amount of money that I earned but it still didn't bring me the happiness that I'm looking for. They say that money can't buy you happiness and that's damn true.  I keep telling myself that I'm doing the right thing by taking this manager position at work but at the same time I'm thinking will this take up more of my time and more of my summer away, well what's left of it? I tried to ask off Fridays so that Khris and I can have a whole day to ourselves where we can do whatever we want and they said any day but Friday, so I said okay what about Mondays? and I was told not Mondays bc another girl has taken off Mondays and they need me to open from now on.  Well that does nothing for me because Khris works all day Tuesday, has class Wednesday and Thursdays and we both work on Saturdays.  So I feel like anyway I try to go I get shot down...I can't find an escape.  I'm blocked from whatever happiness I'm searching for and I'm exhausted trying to find a way for it to work.  Having money in my pocket, a full gas tank, and a solid job is all nice and I'm thankful that I have that...but I can't help but think is working this much and making that much money worth it if I don't get to enjoy my summer before school starts? I have my whole life ahead of me to work...I don't want to waste away what are supposed to be the most fun and greatest years of my life.

Now as I fall asleep to the sound of the rain outside I hope it will wash away this stress that has taken over me and that tomorrow will bring lots of sunshine because guess what? Tomorrow is my day off from work. Holler. :)

To Make A Choice.

There comes a time in your life where you have to do what's best for you than what's best for others.  It may be difficult and you may hurt some feelings along the way but in the end, everything will turn out just fine.

OUCH.

Never, in all my years of colorguard, have I been THIS sore. its ridiculous. I can't walk normal...I can't stand up without supporting myself on something...and I can't get out of the bed without someone helping me (my mom literally had to pull me out of bed this morning).  I've stretched, taken a hot bath, taken extra tylenol and I STILL hurt.  Oh, and the fact that I have to open at work tomorrow and every other day this week is gonna suck.  It'll probably help with working out the pain but I can't sit, bend over, or lift anything extremely heavy and my job description involves all of that so this should be a very interesting week of recovery for me. :/ I just wish I could take a hot bubble bath for a few days so I can get over this pain.

Bikinis & Girl Talk.

Finally got some sun on this white skin of mine. :) haha

Baby Charlotte!

Tonight was my sister's baby shower for her baby girl Charlotte.  Let's just make it clear that I am SUPER STOKED to be an aunt!! I can't wait to hold her, kiss her and to love her.  She's the first grandbaby in the family so she will definitely be spoiled haha but that's okay :) Charlotte is due on July 13 so we have about 5 more weeks to go!! My sister is so beautiful pregnant and I know she'll be a great mom! Since I'll be moving down to VCU soon, I'll be close so I can come visit or babysit whenever Jamie & Ryne wanna get out of the house just them two.  I can't wait. She's gonna be adorable and I can't wait to hold her for the first time...I'll prob cry because I'll be so happy lol

In my gift to my sister, I wrote this letter and it means a lot to me so I thought I would share it with everyone:

The love of an Aunt

Is different from any other love a child can receive.

The Aunt stands in for a person you can tell things to that you can’t tell your mom. The Aunt is there to offer advice and to babysit when mom just can’t handle the crying anymore.

Being an Aunt will be a new experience for me, I won’t be perfect and I’ll make mistakes, but I do promise that I’ll always be there for her when she needs someone to talk to, to help her with her makeup, or to give her advice on all those crazy boys she’ll have to deal with.

I may not be able to buy her every little thing she wants, but I do promise to love her and support her in whatever she pursues.

Just as my Aunts were there for me and loved me, no matter what, I promise to love Charlotte the exact same way.

Love Always,

Shelby

Ten Minutes.

Its days like these that are the hardest to get through. I almost want to close my eyes all the time that way its not just him that I won't see all day.  I know he's tired, I know he's frustrated...I wish I could give him a hug or just hear his voice.  Today is the first day of the summer that I haven't seen him in person, it sucks.  I stayed busy today but throughout my whole day I was always thinking "I wonder how he's doing?" "I wonder if he's having a good day?" so inevitably I begin to think about him and think about him and think about him and that makes me miss him a lot...I haven't really seen much of Khris this week so going a whole day without seeing him, makes seeing him for 10 mins on the other days feel like a blessing.  I would've gave anything for 10 minutes today. I'm not even sure I'll see him tomorrow because I'll be busy then too with church and my sister's baby shower...all I know is that I'll never take 10 minutes for granted anymore.

A Day Full of Friends.

Okay so Blogger is not letting me upload pics with my posts now so idk what's going on with that... :/ but anyway that's not gonna keep me from blogging :) haha

Today is my only day off from work this week so I took FULL advantage of it :) I went to the river with my besties Heather, Amy, Chelsea and Holden and Jared! We had dinner at Galaxy diner and then went back to Heather and Amy's to watch Big Bang Theory.  I know that that is only 3 things on my lists of things that I did today but my day was amazing. I hadn't seen Amy or Chelsea in a few weeks so spending some time with them was pretty awesome :) the only downfall to today is that I didn't get to see Khris much :/ I haven't really seen him much in the past 2 days and I won't get to see him tomorrow either :( between work and summer classes we're both SO busy...I hope we get a break soon to spend some quality time together :)

I get paid tomorrow so I'm looking forward to opening that check! CHA CHINGGGG :D haha

Life is pretty amazing right now...less stress, more love, more summer....this is how it should always be! <3

Not Okay.

So its been 4 days since I've last even been on my computer...I've been working and working and working and working until I can't work anymore. My feet hurt, I'm exhausted, and I'm just frustrated.  I've barely gotten to enjoy my summer at all and I hate it. I've only seen my best friends like once since the summer started... NOT OKAY. I've had one weekend off since the summer and I had so much stuff packed into those 3 days that I no time to just relax.  I need the sun on my skin, the water on my toes, and my sunglasses on my face.  I need a shopping day, I need a day at the river, I need a day (an ENTIRE day) with Khris not 1 hour here, 1 hour there.  I'm thankful for the time I do get to spend with him, but lately I've been living at my job and I've barely gotten to spend any quality time with him. :/ I know that when I get that paycheck I'll be smiling but until then I just have to deal with it. I'm not okay with this. I just need a break from the real world...

It Just Keeps Getting Better.

13 months. <3 

Have Faith. Have Hope. Have Peace. Have Joy.

My life is a little crazy, full of love, hectic with work, and stressed with various things.  I know I still have a lot of growing up to do, but somewhere deep down inside I know that I'm right where I should to be.  <3

Busy Bee.

Well I'm finally off for the weekend... :) I'm excited to spend some time with Khris in the morning.  Since summer has started we've both been working a lot to try to save up as much money as we can and even though I still see him everyday, whether it be 5 mins, an hour, or several, I feel like I haven't really spent time with him.  We haven't had a date night in awhile because we've been so busy but hopefully there's one right around the corner.  I'm also excited to see my girls tomorrow! We're going to see Bridesmaids...so that should be fun! :) and then finally after that my mom, sister, and myself are getting pedicures! You have no idea how excited I am about this...working all day almost everyday gets hard on a girls feet so I can't wait to have them pampered for a least 30 mins haha :)

Saturday is Jessy and Andrew's wedding. I'm super excited about this simply just because I'll be able to witness a love between two people bonded together forever. I love weddings, they make me happy. I can't wait to have my own someday. <3 Saturday is my cousin's bday as well and we're having dinner with the fam that night so that should be fun.  As you can see, my weekend is pretty packed, and its only 2 days. haha crazy.

I've been out of school for like 2 weeks now and I've still have yet to unpack all my stuff. Its ridiculous. I've been so busy that I do a little here and a little there but somehow I never get finished.  Speaking of moving...I think that Heather, Amy, Lisa, and I finally found an apartment in Richmond that starts on July 1. By the time I get all my stuff unpacked I'll just have to pack it right back up haha sad. :/ but anyway...

Khris is out tonight with his guys for the bachelor party (pray for them please) they went to Dave & Busters and I'm pretty sure you know what happens from there...lol but since he's out its just me, my blog, and some pretty sweet music for the night :) sometimes I just need me time and I'm loving it right about now.

<3

Work. Sleep. Work. Sleep....

Since when did work = summer??? 

VCUUUUUU!!!

So for some reason Blogger was down yesterday and I couldn't blog which sucked because I really wanted to share my news! I GOT ACCEPTED TO VCU! This kick starts so many new and exciting plans for me :) No more longwood, no more good byes.  I finally get to be that sickening couple walking around campus and I will play that role proudly haha (but not too proud of course).  I'm so excited to be living with my besties Heather, Amy, and Lisa and spending a lot of freaking time with Khris! I can not wait to be a part of something...for real.  I never really felt "at home" at Longwood...even on the first weekend there of my freshman year, something just didn't feel right, but I ignored it thinking it was just my nerves getting the best of me, but in fact I ended up not liking it.  I'm glad that I listened to myself and decided to make this decision for me despite other people's opinions of what I should do. I feel my time at Longwood has taught me a lot about love and a lot about who I am as an individual and I can't wait to see what experiences VCU has for me and my future.

I now bleed Black and Gold and I couldn't be happier. <3