Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Snappy, Short, and At Peace.

Sometimes I get in moods that I can't describe. I don't know why I am in them but I just am.  I'm snappy, I'm short, and I just want to sleep all day.  There is no cure, there is nothing that can be said or done to make me feel better.  I don't know what causes them, but they suck.  Today was one of those days.  I woke up just not in a good mood and it ruined my entire day.  I had a breakdown about what I was going to do for the rest of my life, for no reason at all.  I have no idea where it came from.  The issue of what I am going to do with my life is still there but for some reason, today, I made a huge deal about it.  I sabotaged time with Khris because I was in this mood and I HATE that.  Like I said, I can't control these moods and I don't know how to get out of them.  But today, in the midst of all of that, when I finally got home and I laid my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me, I took one look up at his face and he looked back down at mine and I knew that at that moment that I was so crazy for not knowing anything about my future.  I know that no matter what happens in my life, I know one thing is for certain...that one day I'll be able to write his last name after my first...and if that's all my future holds then I'm okay with that.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Rays of Sun on a Rainy Day.

It's times like these when I flip open my Bible and just soak up God's word...I know I should be doing this all the time but when something out of the ordinary happens in my life and I just need some guidance, I always know where to turn.  I believe that we all just need to step back from the stresses of life and just read God's word...we can find so much there.  Reach out to the one and only God that can get you through ANYTHING.  I've reached out many times in my life and he's always gotten me through it, yeah it wasn't easy...it was tough....but God never said this life would be easy with Him.  We have to learn to lean and to trust 100% fully in Christ to experience 100% happiness.  I make mistakes daily and I realize that and I realize that everyone else makes mistakes too...no one is perfect.  But that's why we have Christ, he took the penalty for sin so we wouldn't have too...what a gift!

I could go on and on for hours about this, but I'm just so excited to be able to share the amazingness of God with a friend who truly needs it...I believe that it will turn their life around and get it back on track.  Having a strong foundation in God has never failed anyone and after experiencing some many let downs and disappointments they need someone that is going to lift them up and I believe this is the perfect start.

Feeling so blessed today. <3

Saturday, January 14, 2012

"The Soft Spoken Girl"

Words can't even describe how stressed I am.  Usually I'm stressed because or school or something going on with my friends or family but this time its work.  Thursday was one the worst days, actually...make that THE worst day I have ever had at Chick-fil-a.  I was lied too, manipulated, and left alone as the only manager for two hours. Now to the average person that's like nothing but when you only have 2 registers and no screener putting together the orders for you, it gets hectic.  I had the worst speed of service times and it just sucked all around.  It was never my intention to let what happened be known by my manager and my boss.  When I received an email the morning after about how they were sorry for how things turned out and thanking me for the hard-work I put in to make it work, I was furious.  I never wanted them to know....it wasn't a big deal.  I handled the situation and did the best with what I had.  The only problem that I EVER had was that I was lied too straight to my face.  Well, now that my boss knows its turned into this big situation and that was not how it was supposed to go.  I wasn't even the one to tell them, which it should have been since I was the one most affected by what he did.  But nonetheless, I am stressed over this situation because I have no idea how its going to end.  My manager told me that I didn't have to worry about anything and that my name wouldn't be brought up but that's total bull because I know it will and the fact that I can't be there when they have a meeting to defend my opinion of what happened just pisses me off.  I don't know why this has me tied up and so stressed out but this week has just been the worst week ever.  I don't want to start off this new semester stressed out because it will only bode bad for me...but it looks like I have no choice.  I worked last night also, and for the love of all things holy I could not get the drive thru out of the red...so that made me even more stressed because I feel like I'm not working hard enough.  Khris says I'm over-doing it and that I worry too much and maybe I do but that's just me...that's how I deal with things, I guess.

I guess the thing that most pisses me off is that I'm the "soft spoken girl".  I have trouble having a backbone and saying no to people...idk why, its just how I am.  When it comes down to it, the whole situation that happened was technically my fault.  I was the one that told him he could leave early because he needed a ride.  When things need to be worked out because that's the only way that it can happen right, I understand.  I'm an understanding person and when people have specific things going on in their lives I try my best to understand in hopes that when I have something going on they would understand as well...but we all know it doesn't work that way because people aren't as considerate and understanding as much as you might be.  Ugh, idk I feel like I'm ranting and I feel like I'm typing meaningless words but this is what happens when I bottle things up....I don't say anything and I just deal with it and when it gets to be too much.....I explode. And trust me, I'm not a nice person when I explode.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

One Week.

My classes start one week from today.  I'm so not ready. I want to lay in bed all day with Khris and I want to eat junk food and totally avoid the gym even though I should be there.  I want to be able to sleep in everyday and be a bum.  I don't want to have to put on make-up everyday or worry about whether my legs are shaved or not.  Winter break is about being lazy and I've taken lazy to a whole new level these past few weeks....and quite frankly I don't want to stop. but........ I have too. :/

Saturday, January 7, 2012

Out of Shape.

When will I ever get up the motivation to actually go to the gym? I have a 10k to run with my work in May.....bahaha. yeah. i'm gonna die.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Here's To...

...A New Year 
New Friendships...and mending old ones
Happier smiles and fewer tears...
Spontaneous trips and wild nights 
Falling deeper in love with every glance, kiss, and touch
Having more determination and a stronger backbone
Good grades and less procrastination 
Having the time of my life <3 

I love New Years because not only does it allow me to forget about the past year but to look back and see how far I've come in the past year...how much I've matured, how much I've cherished, and how much I'm thankful for.  I couldn't have had a better year.  2011 brought a better job, a better school, a deeper love for Khris and Me and not to mention my adorable niece Charlotte Paige!  Here's to 2012 may it be as good as if not better than 2011!!!