Wednesday, February 24, 2010

I'm Going to Forget.

Here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to stop dwelling. I’m going to stop watching the phone. I’m going to stop looking for you. I’m going to move on. I’m going to meet people. I’m going to live. I’m going to forget all the nights I spent wishing you were here. I’m going to forget the times that it was just us. I’m going to forget the things that shouldn’t have happened. I’m going to forget all the times I opened myself up to let you in, to only get hurt in return. I’m going to forget how I felt about you. Instead, I’m going to subconsciously wait. If you really want me, if you miss me, if you can’t breathe without me, you’ll know. You’ll ring. You’ll text. You’ll visit. And if you drift, if you don’t call, if there’s no texts, if there’s no visits. I’ll know. I’ll know it was never meant to be. And I will continue moving on. And I’m going to walk tall. But in between everything I will forget, I won’t forget the lesson I’ve learned. I won’t forget the feeling of loving someone. I won’t forget the feeling of thinking I’m loved. And I will certainly not forget the hell I was put through to learn all this, to become a better person.

Monday, February 15, 2010

Through thick and thin.

Twenty years from now, i am going to look back and remember that there were those few people who could turn every frown into a smile in a few simple words. Those people who lifted my head when i was losing faith in myself. Those few people who carried tears on their shoulders after every fight, every break up, every death. The people who always knew what i was feeling by the look on my face. The few who accepted who i was when everyone else laughed in my face. Those people that accepted every decision i made believing i'd make the right decisions. The few who knew who i really was. Those people that made the biggest difference in my life. The ones who were my strength through hard times. My best friends.

Rebecca Nicole Cannon. & Heather Michelle Coley. <3

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Its My Time Now.

Today I am 18.

This day sparks a new chapter in my life. This day makes me finally realize that I'm not a 7-year-old girl making mud pies in the back yard. This day makes me realize that I have the my entire life ahead of me still. This day brings on new experiences, new memories, new battles, new friendships, & new relationships. This days brings on more responsibilites, more challenges, more opportunities and more happiness.

So what do u say lets get this show on the road?? <3

Monday, February 8, 2010

Second Best.

I'm so sick of never being beautiful enough. Never being stronger, or better. I'm sick of going home everyday, and wishing I was someone else. For once I want to look in the mirror and be happy for what I see back. I'm so sick of everyone telling me "you can do so much better than that." maybe I can't? and people talking behind my back. yeah well I found out. I'm sick of people bringing me down and telling me that I'm not good enough. But I guess all I really want, is to be more than second best.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Overcome the Past.

have you ever wondered what you have become? have you ever looked back
and saw you were a different person than you were last year? i know
i have, i have been shaped by the people around me. now i am
a little stronger than i once was, but at the same time i know i'm still
weak. maybe a little less naive, but spin me a pretty lie and i will
do anything to belive it. i think i guard myself more than i used
to, and more than anything else. i have learnt how valuable trust is,
how hard it is to gain, and how quickly it is taken away.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

That boy.

We all have that boy; he's the boy we try to pretend we aren't looking for as we make our way to class. He's the boy that we lie about and claim to not care about anymore. He's the boy that gives you the cliche butterflies, complete with the weakness in the knees. He's the boy we're thinking about as we read this. I think every single girl has this boy, and every single girl will remember him forever- he's not the one for us, but he'll always be somewhere in our hearts.

And boy, I get it now. I'm only allowed to talk to you when she's not around. Oh, and when you ditch me to go flirt with her, I'm not suppose to care. And when you act like an ass cause she's there, just go along with it. And when she decides to break your heart once again, I'm suppose to be there to comfort you. Well listen up -I'm tired of being your second choice and I'm done.

it's useless to show how much you care for that special someone when that person is too busy getting somebody else's attention.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Please go away....please?

sometimes pain becomes such a huge part of your life that you expect it to be there because you can't remember a time in your life when it wasn't. but then one day you feel something else, something that feels wrong only because it's so unfamiliar. and in that moment you realize you're happy.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Separation is what I need.

I'm starting to learn you can't make someone love you. You can't make someone be faithful to you. You can't control your own fate and sometimes things happen... some good, some bad, some indifferent. You just have to let some things go, close your eyes and hope they turn out for the best.

And the harsh reality of life is that you are going to hurt. You're going to cry over a silly boy - your heart's going to be broken. But you have to pull yourself together so people don't see how vulnerable you are because once people see vulnerability, they take advantage of you. And the whole proccess starts all over again.

It's because I'm young and stupid and am really good at making bad decisions.