Friday, June 17, 2011

Finding a Balance.


For the past week things have kinda been on edge for me.  I've had to do things that I never thought I would have to do...and I'm not so sure I'm handling this in the best way.  What I've said and done is in the past and I can't change it now. I've been working six days a week lately and I feel like I haven't had time to enjoy my summer.  I know that I've said this already in past blogs but obviously nothing has changed. I see my friend's statuses on facebook saying "going to the river", "hanging out with him", "loving this summer" and I see them either while I'm at work on break or after I just worked a 9 hour shift.  I tell myself "wow I wish I could go to the river" but then I have to tell myself that I'll be happy once my paycheck comes.  Well my paycheck came today, and nothing changed.  Yeah, I was happy at the amount of money that I earned but it still didn't bring me the happiness that I'm looking for. They say that money can't buy you happiness and that's damn true.  I keep telling myself that I'm doing the right thing by taking this manager position at work but at the same time I'm thinking will this take up more of my time and more of my summer away, well what's left of it? I tried to ask off Fridays so that Khris and I can have a whole day to ourselves where we can do whatever we want and they said any day but Friday, so I said okay what about Mondays? and I was told not Mondays bc another girl has taken off Mondays and they need me to open from now on.  Well that does nothing for me because Khris works all day Tuesday, has class Wednesday and Thursdays and we both work on Saturdays.  So I feel like anyway I try to go I get shot down...I can't find an escape.  I'm blocked from whatever happiness I'm searching for and I'm exhausted trying to find a way for it to work.  Having money in my pocket, a full gas tank, and a solid job is all nice and I'm thankful that I have that...but I can't help but think is working this much and making that much money worth it if I don't get to enjoy my summer before school starts? I have my whole life ahead of me to work...I don't want to waste away what are supposed to be the most fun and greatest years of my life.

Now as I fall asleep to the sound of the rain outside I hope it will wash away this stress that has taken over me and that tomorrow will bring lots of sunshine because guess what? Tomorrow is my day off from work. Holler. :)

No comments:

Post a Comment