I don't know how to describe this feeling. I feel weak...I feel tore apart. This overwhelming sadness that has taken over my mind and body is so hard to ignore. When my heart is heavy, I feel like I have this weight on me that no matter how hard I try I can't push it off of me. I thought crying last night would get it out of my system but that didn't help. If crying won't help, then I have no other options left. I wish I had never come to Longwood. I wish that I had applied to VCU from the start and that I never had to go through what I'm going through. Yeah, I know everything happens for a reason, but right now I don't believe that statement. Why am I the person that has to go through it? I don't deserve this. Until some lightbulb goes off in this messed up mind of mine I will never know how to cope with this. I can only hope that one day he'll realize what he's done to me....but by the time that that happens, it'll be too late.
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