To Cherish Time.

I really wish time didn't exist. Its such a complicated thing to live by. Everything we do in life depends upon time. Either having too much or not enough. Having time go by too fast or that it just drags on.  Either way we go, the grass is always greener on the other side. Always.

When I'm at Longwood, I wish time to go by fast.  When I'm home on the weekends I wish it would slow down.  But I can never win. Ever. I guess the saying of "time flies when you're having fun" takes a whole new meaning when you substitute fun with love.  The time I have with Khris is amazing.  So amazing that before we both know it, it's Sunday and I have to go back to school...

During the week while I'm at Longwood I feel that time just creeps on and I know that time knows that the most important thing to me is waiting for me on Fridays at 2pm.  Because of that it takes its merry time getting there.  With every class, every elevator ding, with every goodnight and good morning that I'm just one step, day, minute closer to seeing him.  Every time I see 11:11 on my clock I always wish for the same thing...

When I'm here on the weekends....times flies. I hate it. I wish I could make time stop so that I could just be here forever in his arms...to never have to leave or to say goodbye for four days. That's the hardest thing for me. On the weekends when I'm here I sometimes get into "funks", like I did tonight.  These moods are undefinable most of the time but tonight I think its a matter of fear.  Fear of not having enough time to be with him. Fear of not having the opportunity to tell him I love him enough before I'm out of his reach for four days. Fear of not giving him enough kisses before I'm miles away from him for four days.  I know that no matter what, this distance will not tear us apart. Nothing ever can. But just because it can't tear our relationship apart doesn't mean that it can't tear both us apart individually.  Sometimes I think that its impossible to get through the week but that's when I have to take a step back from my life and all its stresses and really cherish the time that I do have because no matter what we do, time is something that nobody can change.