Monday, January 31, 2011

When The Tears Never Come.




This weekend was the perfect weekend. It felt like an endless weekend of love.  Friday was dinner and a movie night. :) Saturday was guard and I love guard so that counts as well :) but today...today was perfect. I got to sleep in while you went to work but as soon as work was over it was me and you for 5 hours straight.  That may not seem like a lot but it is to me now.  As the night progressed on, I tried to not think about coming back to Longwood.  As we laid together and watched House and time creeped up on us I didn't think about it.  We drove to my house, packed my things, and were on our way.  Of course the triple thick milkshakes from McDonald's helped as well.  We talked of school, work and other things while driving and soon enough (time always flies while driving) we were in Farmville.  As I saw my dorm I let out a big sigh and thought to myself...and so the countdown starts all over again.  We went up to the room, he stayed for about 10 mins then it was time to leave...

As we hugged and kissed and said our "goodbyes" I held it together quite surprisingly. I held it together so well that it scared me....tonight was the first night since school has started that I didn't cry when Khris left.  Maybe I'm getting used to this whole routine thing again...but that scares me because that means I'm getting used to only seeing him 3 days a week....and that's not okay.  I don't see this as a good thing and I will never see this as a good thing.  I prepared myself to cry but the tears didn't come. They never did. I know how to handle things when I cry.  I know what it means when I cry and I know what to tell myself when I get upset.  But how am I supposed to handle it when the tears don't come at all?

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