For the past few days my parents have been fighting non-stop. I try not to get caught up in it but somehow I always end up crying over the fact that my parent's marriage is falling apart. I've had good experiences with my dad and not so good experiences with my dad. We've had our fair share of arguments and disagreements but we've also shared hugs and laughter. But unfortunately the bad out-weights the good here. My dad is very protective of me especially since I'm the baby girl, but its to the point where he treats me like I'm still his little 10 year old girl sitting on his lap and that daddy is the only guy in my life...it doesn't work that way anymore. I'm 17, not 10 and I like boys. Plain and simple. My dad won't except that fact that I'm growing up and that I wanna do things on my own, that I want to date, that I want to stay out late with my friends having a good time. But he just doesn't get it. I don't think he ever will.
I feel bad bc I know my mom isn't happy and that she is literally at the end of her rope. But she is holding out until I graduate (I believe) and honestly, I don't think she should have to wait. My "happiness" is as just as important as hers. I don't want my mom to be stressed all the time about having to be a safety net between me and my dad, which often times she is. She deserves better than that and shouldn't have to live her life worrying about what's gonna happen next.
The good part about all this...is that I've met someone who I can tell all this too and expect him to be there to hear me out and to give good advice. His name is Ben and he works at Chick-fil-A with me :) we've been talking for quite some time now and we get along great! The only sad part is, is that he's leaving in less than 3 weeks to go to college in Ohio... :( but i'm trying not to think about that... tonight, after work, he took me to coldstone ice cream and bought me a "Like It" of Mint ice cream :) such a gentleman haha but all in all i'm trying not to get too attached bc if i do I won't be able to let him go when he leaves for college. But while time is still on our side, we are enjoying each other's company and that's all that matters :)
I'm praying fervently for my family and that either God will pour peace into my parent's marriage or he will show my mom a good way out and allow us to be financially stable on our own. All I want is to be happy and I honestly and faithfully believe that God will provide in my time and my mom's time of sorrow.
From a weary heart...shelbs
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