Today was a bittersweet day of happiness yet sadness as well. Today I started my last year of my high school career. SENIOR YEAR! I'm soooo happy that its finally here and that I'm that much closer to graduating but the more and more I think about it sooner or later I'm gonna reach a place in my life where "growing up" is a requirement. I'm ready to grow up and I'm ready to be on my own but the fact that I have 5 months till I'm a legal adults that's responsible for every decision she makes is a little overwhelming. I know that I can make it through with the help of my best friends and older friends who are there to offer advice to help me avoid mistakes and making wrong choices.
My classes aren't as overwhelming as I thought they would be, but then again its only the first day of classes where rules, procedures, and the basics of the class are talked about in EVERY class. So far I'm pretty "in-love" with my day 1 classes consisting of physics, AP Gov, Spanish, and Prin. of Business and Marketing. Tomorrow holds a new set of classes with new people and new obstacles to overcome.
School, work, and guard consume my life. Literally. And although I don't wish it any different...I am yet again the single one out of the trio. I'm not saying that I'm not happy for Heather and Becca and the special relationships that they have found but I just wish that I could find the same connection with someone. Someone that will walk to me class, hold my hand in the hallway, eat lunch with me, and just be there for me. Maybe I'm asking for to much at the wrong time in my life and I know that its wrong to create jealously in your heart because it can become a very wicked trait to have. But I can't help but think of all my past relationships and how poorly they turned out. I've never had a "successful" relationship last longer than 2 months. In my eyes, that's not normal. But then again who defines what normal is?? Idk. I know love will find me one day. I just have to learn to be patient and wait for the right guy...because according to my mother, the perfect guys comes into your life when you least expect him to.
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