End of My Rope.

I can't even begin to put my emotions into words tonight...but if I don't try I know this will stay bottled up inside of me and I won't be able to function.  A part of me wishes that I could switch spots with him for just one day so that he could really realize how he makes me feel...but then again I don't want to switch spots with him because I would never want to be someone that is so cruel and heartless.  This relationship that exists here is hardly a relationship.  Just when I think that I don't have anymore tears to blame I think about another situation between us that just brings them right back.  I don't understand how you can sit there and watch me cry or hear me cry over the phone and say "yea yea cry all you want and get mad at me all you want but that's your problem." Who does that? Who says that to someone? I just don't understand how someone that is supposed to love you and support you unconditionally can just watch me break down like this.  The sad part is, is that he doesn't see it.  He doesn't think that anything is wrong, he just thinks I'm stuck up. I feel broken, I feel lost, I feel down in the dumps. Regardless of this situation I have to learn how to make the best of it.  I can't change this situation and I don't think I ever can.  If he hasn't seen what he does to me by now...I don't think he ever will.  I spent about 3 hours on Skype with Khris just crying my eyes out because I didn't know what else to do.  I know how to cry and I know that crying helps me. I haven't had a good cry in awhile, so crying tonight really helped me get it all out.  With comforting words from my mom and Khris I feel much better now. I'm just at the end of my rope....I've run out of effort to try to fix things.