**Snaps**

1st place....whaaaa???? 13 point raise....whaaaa???? oh yea...that's how we do!


Get it Colony. <3

To My Momma :)

You've given me everything that i will need to make it through this crazy thing called life.  I know you watched me grow up and I know you want what's best for me and I think I've found the answer to your prayers... He is good, so good...and he treats your little girl like a real man should. He is good, so good...he makes promises he keeps, no he's never leave.... so don't you worry about me. <3

Huge Sigh of Relief.

I'm happy because I get an early start to my Spring Break. I'm happy because I get to see him 12 hours earlier than I usually do. I'm happy because I get to see my friends this weekend and upcoming week. I'm happy because I get to perform soon.  I'm happy because I get Girl Scout cookies this weekend (or I better!) I'm happy because I get to be with Khris for 10 days instead of 3 days. <3

Home is Where the Heart is.

I never make beds. I never did growing up and I got harped on for it...but to this day I still hate making beds.  If I do make my bed its later on in the day, never when I wake up.  I just don't see the point.  Well today, I made my bed and every time I do, I fold Khris' sweater right below my pillows now with Mr. Smile properly right above it.  I sleep with it every night and without I literally have trouble sleeping.  I'm not as lonely at night with it, knowing that I have some part of him there with me.  I realized today that my heart lies in that sweater.  Not just symbolically, but physically.  My heart lies at VCU. I want to be there with him. I want to eat lunch with him. I want to have study dates.  It just doesn't feel right here without him.  I hate walking around campus and seeing couples holding hands and laughing together...I wish I could stop them and say "Appreciate what you have, because you don't realize how good you have it." The anticipation of Spring Break is killing me.  Its two days away and honestly the only major assignment I have left is a research paper due tomorrow...I've gotten to the point in the semester where I hate skyping and I hate sleeping with his sweater.  It just doesn't suffice. But I just have to tell myself that after Spring Break I only have 6 more weeks left. After that, I'm done with Longwood...I never have to come back here and deal with skyping and sleeping with his sweater because I'll have the physical him there with me.  No more walking around campus alone, no more studying by myself at the library, no more wishing and hoping.  Just me and him.......finally together, forever.

Hand in Hand...Together Forever.

I see myself in you

In everything you do.
And when you’re all alone at night
You know I am by your side
Cuz I’m there too

I see me in your eyes
And I’m tears you cry
And when you fall apart
And I’m dying from a broken heart
I’m there too

I see your footsteps in the sand
As you journey on across this land
But if you should fall on your way
Then I will carry you that day
Cuz I’m there
I’m there too
Yeah I’m there too

I see your face in mine
And I know there’ll come a time
When you will take my hand
And I will understand
That you’re there too
When you will take my hand
And I will understand
That you’re there
You’re there too

<3

Daddyo vs. Dad.

I do not know why I still let him get to me.  After all the tears and fighting, he still gets to me.  My mom says it because its because I have a personality to naturally forgive.  Is that a bad quality to have? I can't answer that question.  I never thought it was a bad quality to have but now that I know that automatically forgiving someone when they don't automatically forgive you back can end in heart break.  His words of anger and unkindness still get to me and he still has the ability to make me feel like crap.  I've told myself time and time again that he's just jealous or upset at himself but no matter how many arguments we get in I always feel like its my fault.  Its a roller coaster ride with him and I feel like I'm on a blinded ride never knowing when the good times or the bad times are coming.  I guess its just the simple expression of one word that sets him off but I never felt like it bothered him until he said something tonight.  I fee like he wants to make the relationship as impersonal as possible. I can't break through his wall. Why? I will never know.  I didn't say anything back except for okay because I didn't want to get into another argument with him before I left to come back to Longwood.  I didn't want stress already coming back to Longwood, I have plenty of it while I'm here.  I just have it shooting from me from all directions and I can't stop it.

Mr. Smile

I don't know what's on my mind tonight.  I don't have anything specific to talk about.  I just feel the need to just type and get feelings out.  I don't have much to express other than the fact that I'm dying from the amount of stress in my life.  Of course all my professors are trying to cram every test and project in the next two weeks before spring break.  When I get into these moods where all I can do is just sigh I put on my headphones and just listen to music.  Its the only thing that keeps me sane...besides the fact that Khris is always there for me.  I honestly don't know how he puts up with all my stuff haha I spill so much on him and vent him to about so much stuff.  I guess that's when you know that your significant other is your best friend; when you can tell them anything without holding back or second guessing if they're going to judge you for what you say, feel, or do. For Valentine's Day I told Khris that I wasn't much of a "teddy bear" kinda girl...but he got me one anyway with a little something extra on the inside which made it special.  I guess that I never really got a teddy bear from anyone that really meant anything to me like Khris does.  Well his name is Mr. Smile and whenever I feel down or just need something to hold onto, its me and Mr. Smile 100% and it works! Whenever I grab onto him I just feel the happiest that I feel when I'm with Khris, radiating out from him and it helps with everything I'm going through.  I guess I could consider myself a "teddy bear" kinda girl now, but I'd rather hug my Mr. Smile in person. :)